Our Healing Betrayal courses have been designed for individuals, couples, or relationship partners at any stage of the betrayal recovery process—for those looking to heal from emotional, sexual, internet, or a combination of these past or recent relationship injuries.
You have the option to select a course based on your role in the betrayal (involved or uninvolved) and whether you have come to healing alone or with your partner. What this means is you don’t have to sign up for or complete this course with the partner or the person you had the betrayal experience with. We recognize that it may be a past unresolved relationship betrayal that has led you here or that maybe you or your relationship partner have decided not to work together in the healing process. That’s okay. You can take this course individually. Simply select either the involved or uninvolved option to begin.
Involved: the person who created the agreement rupture/s in the relationship.
Uninvolved: a person who endured betrayal within the relationship.
If you choose to enter the course as relationship partners, the expectation is that you are both committed to accompanying one another through the healing process for 12 weeks. It is not necessarily a commitment to stay in a committed relationship with one another after the 12 weeks are complete, but it is a commitment to work together toward healing for the duration of the course. It is important to note that simultaneously working with a relationship therapist or counselor will yield the most effective results for relationship partners. We strongly recommend working with a therapist prior to disclosure or betrayal discovery, as it can be a supportive piece of this difficult step.
This course integrates seamlessly with weekly scheduled sessions for therapists, counselors, and mental health professionals. It serves as an essential tool for supporting and providing individuals, couples, or relationship partners with specific weekly exercises through each stage of the recovery process.
Some important things to keep in mind before starting this course.
If you are coming into this course as partners in healing, initial discovery, often referred to as D-Day, is a requirement prior to starting it. You will be given the material to help support post-discovery, but this course does not facilitate the initial discovery itself.
It is recommended that initial discovery be done with the assistance of a therapist. Discovery in infidelity therapy refers to the process by which the uninvolved gains insight and understanding of the betrayal. It’s a crucial step to starting the healing process, as it is the first time the involved partner reveals details about the infidelity, including when it started, how long it lasted, and any other pertinent information. This disclosure needs to be honest and comprehensive.
By working this course in conjunction with therapist led weekly sessions, partners are led and encouraged to express their emotions openly to one another in a safe and supportive environment. This may involve anger, sadness, guilt, or a range of other feelings.
Combining this course with weekly therapist-led sessions improves communication between involved and uninvolved through the phases of healing and allows relationship partners to work together to gain a greater understanding of why the betrayal happened. This might involve exploring underlying relationship issues, vulnerabilities, or external factors that contributed to the infidelity. It also allows for opportunities to set clear boundaries and agreements and modify these as needed while the work is being done.
Having the therapist present provides greater validation of the uninvolved partner’s feelings and experiences while also continually encouraging the involved partner to be patient, understand the importance of taking responsibility for their actions, and acknowledge the pain they’ve caused.
This course is most effective when combined with a weekly couples therapy session. If you and your partner do not already have a relationship therapist, one can provide guidance, support, and structure throughout the healing process. It’s challenging but essential to repair the relationship after infidelity or decide what the next step is for relationship partners after discovery.
Some helpful information in choosing the right therapist can be asking what relationship treatment modality the therapist primarily uses. Common methods that are aligned with this course and have shown effective results in treating infidelity based on the research documented at the time of this course are The Gottman Trust Revival Method (TRM), Imago relationship therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Internal Family Systems (IFS), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and Integrative Therapy.
Part I is an informational weekly video that dives into what you and your partner may be experiencing as you work through the process of healing betrayal. This video provides the basis for our weekly focus, and it can help you identify and create a greater understanding of the emotions you and your partner are navigating through the discovery process.
Part II & III are the nature therapy and mindfulness interventions that you and your partner will practice to work toward healing. Through both parts II and III, you will both be learning to implement and incorporate coping skills that reduce unwanted behaviors and improve the management of difficult emotions.
Part IV is the weekly challenge. The focus here is to explore you. Both your current or past relationships and beliefs or relationship patterns that have carried with you from childhood. Using multiple methods such as writing, narrating, drawing, and other forms of self-expression, you will have an opportunity to gain greater insight into yourself and understand your needs within and beyond the relationship.
